Win a date with Lionblaze!
by SaltySpoicyFlame
Summary: After the first two wacky adventures of the 'Win a date With' series had ended, things had changed. Lionblaze became smart, Jayfeather actually didn't mind Lionblaze, but that's all going to change. (This takes place after 'Win a date with Nightcloud, and 'Win a date with Ivypool. Thank Tansy for being kind enough to let me write the latest 'Win a date With' series)
1. Pilot

**Ayyy! I'm some annoying kid who used to always PM the authors about how amazing their stories were. I loved to read 'Win a date with Nightcloud!' and 'Win a date with Ivypool!', which is why I decided to PM the great Empress Tansy if I could ever make a third 'Win a Date!' series, and listen to this, she said yes! So thank you Tansy, for giving me the opportunity to do something on fanfiction! XD Also, this is just the pilot episode. Tell me which she cats you want for the next episodes in the reviews! :D**

 _A large golden tom sat on a leather chair with a cup of hot chocolate and a crossword puzzle in his hands as he stared at his television with re-runs of 'Win a date with Ivypool!' playing._

 _"Here we go again!" Tansy said while everyone applaused and cheered as the show came to an end._

 _The tom sighed, taking another sip from his mug before standing up and stretched._

"Jayfeather?" He called as he walked into the kitchen and set down his mug. "You speak some German, so how do you say 'Oh my god' in German?" He asked, not taking his eyes off the puzzle while he opened up the pantry looking for more sugar.

"Octo librà" A call came back from upstairs. Coming from none other than Jayfeather. The blind cat smiled as he spoke, happy ever since Lionblaze learned to be smart. He held a hammer in his hand with a nail magnetically stuck to it.

"Hey do you want your diploma from Meowvard hung up in the hallway leading to the bedroom or in your office?"

"I'll have it in my office."

The golden tom, with his eyes still on the paper, shut the pantry and headed back to his chair when he herd a loud crash coming from the pantry he had shut. He turned to see what had happened, and walked closer to the scenario. As he opened it up to see what was happening, he noticed a broken shelf. He lifted the shelf upwards, when a large kettle slid off the shelf and landed directly on his head. The tom screamed in pain as he dropped his mug which shattered into a million peaces, coming to Jayfeather's attention.

"Lionblaze are you alright down there?" He called. There was no answer. "Lionblaze?" He called again. Sensing trouble, the gray tom raced down stairs and into the kitchen to see his brother lying on the ground completely unconscious.

"Lionblaze!" He screamed and picked up the phone. Lionblaze moved a little and Jayfeather dropped the phone and raced over to him. "Lionblaze, are you okay?!" He asked in a concerned tone. Lionblaze mumbled a little bit.

 _"Mommy can you help me with my math homework?"_

Jayfeather's eyes widened. "S-say that again?"

 _"Can you cut up my pizza so It's not too cold?"_

The blind gray tom sat there for a moment. "Let's take you to a doctor."

"Im completely fine, I don't need a docto- Wait, what's a doctor again? Oh yeah, they cut your hair." Lionblaze said as he sat up, a maniacal glint in his eyes. He turned to see 'Win a date with Ivypool!' On the television. "Hey! I was on that! And 'Win a date with Nightmare!'."

"Nightcloud." Jayfeather managed to say while his mind raced. "What's eighteen plus one?"

"Obviously two!" Lionblaze said before turning his attention back to the television. "That was fun! Let's do it again!"

"W-win a date with Ivypool?" Jayfeather stammered. His eyes turned to the show, and than back to Lionblaze.

"Oh hell no!"

(LINELINELINE)

Tansy laid on her bed, sleeping peacefully when her phone rang. The she cat slowley crawled out of bed and made her way to the phone. She picked it up on the last ring, only to have her eardrums nearly blown away.

"TANSY CAN WE MAKE ME THE NEWEST HOST FOR THE NEWEST SHOW 'WIN A DATE WITH LIONBLAZE?!" The golden tom shouted over the phone.

Tansy waited for Lionblaze to Finnish before speaking. "Lionblaze, are you alright?" She asked concerned before pausing. "What's eighteen plus one?"

"Obviously fourteen!" Lionblaze replied.

"No it's not!" Came a muffled scream. Tansy, now wide awake, held the phone so close to her ear it might have been connected. "What was that?" She asked.

"The fat oaf is sitting on me! He's had some insane idea of making the newest 'Win a Date!' season! That show ended almost a year ago, in which Lionblaze managed to get a diploma and make something off his life!" Came the muffled voice again, but this time louder and angrier.

"Lionblaze I don't know what's gotten into you but it's over! We can't make a third season! Besides, you're married!" Tansy shouted from the phone, before going to grab her car keys.

"Consider this a divorce." Lionblaze replied, not really knowing what the quote meant. "Besides, she can go on a date with me!"

"Where are you, I'm coming to take you to a doctor!"

"I don't need my hair cut!" A cry came out from outside her door.

Tansy pulled open the door to see Lionblaze carrying a sack that could fit one tuxedo, a dress, and two bodies. "What the hel-"

Lionblaze picked her up with his strong arms and placed Tansy in it.

"Let the show begin!"

(LINELINELINE)

 **Hey! So this was just the pilot. This will not be an on going thing(?). Tell me which she cats you want to be contestants on the show, and maybe they'll be picked! Ever few episodes I might do an occasional ask the crew kind of thing, so also ask a few questions, and maybe your answer will be answered. Anyways, favorite, follow, review, and send in the she cats!**


	2. Cinderheart, Mapelshade, Heathertail

**PLEASE READ: Ayyy! Thanks so much for all the suggestions! I've had an idea. For every review on this story, is five viewers for the show. Every view is one mouse, when we reach one hundred mice, everyone gets a raise. When we reach two hundred mice, we'll have an 'ask the cast' kind of thing, and start donating to different places the dates happen in. Anyways, enjoy the show, and send in the she-cats!**

"Lionblaze! We have to go!"

 _A blind gray tom with blue eyes waited impatiently in the car. He leaned over from where he was sitting and honked the horn three time_

"Hold on Jayfeather! I haven't finnished applying my guy-liner yet! How will my fans adore me without my handsom looks!" Lionblaze shouted out the window. His eyes were completely surrounded by black rings when he walked out the door with a big grin on his face. Jayfeather groaned but said nothing about it

"Hurry up, we're late!"

"We are not! It's only eight fifteen!"

"It's eight fifteen _PM_!" Groaned Jayfeather. "I'm blind and I can still see that, now drive brother!"

(LINELINELINE)

 _Three minutes until air!_

Tansy set the camera for three minutes, and gave a thumbs up to Lionblaze, who was having his makeup removed because he looked like a 'dark forest warrior who woke up on Monday'.

"And were live in three, two, one!" Tansy loudly whispered, getting the attention of the audience who cheered and clapped politely.

"It's great to be back, but this time, as the host!" Lionblaze exclaimed as he flashed a smile to some of the she-cats in the front.

 _We love you Lionblaze!_

Jayfeather groaned but stood up. "Today, our contestants are Cinderheart," He paused to let the crowd cheer and clap respectfully. ", Mapelshade," He paused again only for a couple of boo's to come out from the crowd this time. Mapelshade hissed at the crowd and they fell silent. ", and Heathertail!"

"What?!" Lionblaze harshly whispered to Jayfeather. "Nobody even asked her to be here!"

The blind gray tom just grinned. "I know _someone_ did. Maybe it was because you dragged someone on here. Now get on with the show!"

Lionblaze frowned but looked back at the audience. "You know the rules folks! Which ever lovely lady here gets the most points gets to go out on a date with me!"

"And it better be me, because we're married!" Cinderheart said glaring at Lionblaze.

"Anyways, first question, which Star Wars movie was your favorite?"

Mapleshade pressed the buzzer first. "Everyone else's favorite movie! 'Return of the Jedi'! In that one, they kill those furry excuses for bears!"

Cinderheart stared at Mapelshade in annoyance. "You're a heartless creature. I love 'Rouge One', because in that one, there's a blind character who fights to save the galaxy."

"Oh my gosh me too! He's just like my Jay-Kins!" Came a voice from the audience.

"Nobody cares mom!" Shouted Jayfeather.

Lionblaze chuckeled. "And how about you.. Crap." He muttered as Heathertail opened her mouth to speak. "My personal favorite is 'Empire Strikes Back'. Because in that one Han and Leia express their love for each other, and when Han acts like a total jerk to Leia, he gets what's coming to him!" The she cat finished angrily.

"Yeah, well I disagree, Leia was being too clingy and Han wanted to escape from her." Lionblaze said a little too quickly. "Anyways, I personally like 'Rouge One', because of its close tie with 'A New Hope', so one point for Cinderheart. Next question." The tom said.

"Which Soda do you prefer, Pawpsi or Kitty-Cola?"

Mapelshade hit the button. "Who drinks Pawpsi? Obviously Kitty-Cola!"

"Pawpsi." Said Cinderheart politely.

"I don't drink those disgusting drinks. I have to stay healthy and skinny so I can model and keep my vegan life pure." Said Heathertail in a sassy tone.

Lionblaze hissed at Heathertail. "I give you a negative one!"

Jayfeather groaned and face palmed. "You can't do that brother. Just don't give her any points at all."

The golden tom scoweled at Jayfeather but didn't say anything. "Well I prefer Kitty-Cola, so one point for Mapelshade."

Mapelshade stuck her tongue out at Cinderheart who said nothing.

"Next question, which is your favorite millitary weapon?" Asked Lionblaze. He turned to Tansy, who just shrugged.

Cinderheart pressed the buzzer. "I like that the Dessert Eaglekit. After he died, and wasn't ever really recognized, he decided to make something that he would be known for."

"I like the Meowitzer. It's big, bulky, and is the perfect tank to take to the beach!" Explained Mapelshade.

"Well I for one think that all weapons are bad, and should only be used on good for nothing ex's and their siblings." Said Heathertail in a snarky remark.

"Alright give here a negative one." Sighed Jayfeather said through a not convincing smile as he tapped a button on the arm of his chair repeatedly. Lionblaze laughed a little bit. "Well, one point for Cinderheart, and a negative one point for Heathertail!"

Heathertail just stared at Jayfeather who just sat there with a scared look on his face. As Tansy turned to change the camera angle, Heathertail stood up and slid her finger across her throat. Jayfeather gulped.

"Final question!" Lionblaze announced. "If you had to choose between a-" Lionblaze paused as a muscular large tom walked in.

"Sorry I was late, Hollyleaf and I were making out under the stairs and it was getting _intense_!" The tom otherwise known as Brokenstar turned to see Ferncloud covering a kit's ears. "Oh, we, sorry? Anyways, who was I here to kick out?" He turned to Jayfeather, who quickly nodded his head in Heathertail's direction.

"You called security on me!?" Shrieked Heathertail before leaping onto the blind tom.

Don't hurt my Jay-kins! A cry came from the crowd

"Shut up mom!"

"Hey you crazy bat! Get off the stage!" Screamed Brokenstar as he turned his attention away from Jayfeather and his assailant.

"Lionblaze do something!" Jayfeather screached while trying to keep Heathertail away from shredding his face into a million pieces.

"Not now Jayfeather! Can't you see I'm busy getting this cuties number?" He said while pointing towards a white she-cat with blue eyes.

Tansy sighed and whipped out the pepper spray Ivypool had given her for her birthday. "I guess I have to do everything myself." She mumbled before walking over to the insane she-cat and sprayed her in the eyes. Heathertail screeched in pain before running off stage.

"Oh, uh, thank you." Coughed Jayfeather as he stood up and adjusted his tie.

Lionblaze looked at the crowd and chuckeled. "Well, wasn't that a scene? Anyways, I think we're just going to end it on that note, so the winner is my lovely wife, who beat Mapelshade by one point.

"I just came here to spite Cinderheart, so what ever." Mumbeled Mapelshade as he walked out.

Cinderheart ran up to Lionblaze and slapped him across the cheek and than kissed him. "Let's go make out at Icefur's Ice Cream Emporium." She sighed dreamily.

"Talk about mood swings." Tansy whispered loud enough to the crowd who clapped and cheered.

Jayfeather smiled at the audience. "Well that bring us to an end of Win a date with Lionblaze!"

 **QUICK NOTE: Remember, you can suggest already married she-cats, okay? XD I didn't know if I should do that or not myself at first. XD**


End file.
